OK, something has been niggling at my heart since the end of June. I read my daily reading on hot June day and I have struggled with those written words since then. The reading basically said we all plant something every day but we are also reaping what we have sown in the past. If I don’t like my current situation then I planted incorrectly and I am harvesting what I previously sowed.
We now have many changes in our lives now. We are moving, my son has moved away, my daughter and grandson are living with us, my other grandson lives in Oregon with his father. Our family dynamics have changed. Don’t get me wrong, I know children grow up, get jobs, go to college, move away, and have children. Everything changes whether for better or worse. That’s exactly the area where I am struggling! I want my sowing to harvest happiness for everyone in my family and extended family and friends. I want everyone to be contented, pleased and delighted with their lives, including me.
I know life throws us curve balls and takes us down paths we never would choose.
Heck, I wouldn’t have moved as many times if I had a choice. But we moved in order to make a living; all the moves became a necessity because of job opportunities. On one hand, we’ve seen country and cities lots of people will never see by staying in one place. On the other hand, moving causes lots of stress, not just the physical move, but all the new roads to learn, doctors, churches and favorite shopping places need to be re-learned.
Since my husband and I lost our jobs, due to the current economy, we have changed our marriage dynamics. We really have struggled during the last two years. First, my husband lost his job and then struggled with his identity. He had to re-accustom and acclimate from a very high-pressure job to staying at home. After working for over 35 years, now who was he and what would he do? Then, a year later, I lost my job. Then we had to adjust and adapt to living together 24 hours a day. We are getting to know, getting used to and getting acquainted to a totally different lifestyle. It’s caused stress and it’s caused joy.
Acts 2:26 says: Therefore my heart rejoiced, and my tongue was glad; More over my flesh also will rest in hope.
Even during and throughout stressful times, I can rejoice, be glad and have hope in whatever future God is leading me towards. Here we go again! Stress, worry and bitterness seem to be my first reaction. But I am re-learning and relying on my second option. I know God is working His plan in my family dynamics and my life dynamics. So, here’s to the new promised life where the roads are familiar and where my dwelling place is joyful. I can be in high spirits while relying on the Holy Spirit. Cloud Nine living!