May is Mental Illness AWARENESS Month
The scary horrible thing about clinical depression is that it can hit you any time, for no reason, from zero to freight train in a second.
At the grocery store I’m thinking about how to grill this salmon, and the next moment my chest caves inward like a curled up canvas of wax paper in a cruel gnarled fist. It’s the familiar feeling of drowning in slowly frothing grief, like disappearing in acid. It’s almost too familiar. I’m trying not to weep. I tell myself, Everything’s fine, everything’s fine, a cognitive trick to pull you out of the falling, but nothing is fine, nothing is fine. There’s nothing I can do. My basket full of trinkets is weightless and too heavy at the same time. I see people rushing to somewhere, but the illusion of significance slips away from me in a long, defeated sigh. I hate this part. My…
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